We often sat in Geelong and Adelaide meetings and heard chilren referred to as “odious little monsters”. We were called on to break their will.
Well, we were in Perth for two years from 1984 to 1986. Pastor Jack didn’t say things like that. He said children were a gift from God and we ought to enjoy them. We asked his son once why he stayed in the church when he had ample opportunity to sin as a teen and he replied because he loved and respected his father too much. I asked Graham H. He said when he felt like sinning the muscles in his butt went tense – in anticipation. hmmm what sort of parent do I want to be?
As the years ticked on I started looking at the numbers of teenagers that left the church in Australian – about 90%. I thought to myself, could it be because they have been treated so harshly that they got out as soon as they were old enough to make it on their own?
When we visited Australia I could just about predict which kids would be the next to leave – would I want to live with their parents? No way. They were rigid, angry people, of little patience.
How many pastors lost their ‘ministry’ because their children fornicated? These men were diligent disciples of Noel. Carefully bringing up their children in the way he had taught them. Sometimes I heard people talk about certain brothers – how slack they were – they didn’t have the same attitude towards their children. I certain brother – let’s call him Mark – remarked to me how his (‘backslidden’ – I am begining to doubt that label has any real meaning when used by the GRC) (Pot, meet Kettle) father hardly ever smacked him – yet Mark became a pastor. Pastor P’s son got beaten into next week but couldn’t catch a ball – (because his father never spent any quality time with him.)
We started to look at the statistics and methods people were using and realised they were seriously flawed. In about 1992 we did an about-face on the child-rearing practices here and the results have been encouraging. Kids who have a good relationship with their parents. Sweet little pumpkins who can relax at meetings and have healthy relationships with other people. Oh and young people who are allowed to have friendships with the opposite gender don’t automatically go immoral. But kids who have a bad relationship with their parents very often do.
Think about it. What’s the doxology in youngies there? Another one bites the dust… yes there’s another one gone and another one gone. Children are a gift from God and you’d better love them before it’s too late. Loving them means showing them affection. I asked a sister here whose (unchurched) family used to beat her regularly. Did you love them? No, she replied, I hated them and left as soon as I was old enough.
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Reply to : viridian What a very sad thing to have happened to you and your little girl. (Have sent you a private message)
Hollins knows that his “spare the rod, spoil the child” teaching is wrong (bad) because he used to be so paranoid when the tapes of the talk were given to parents that had missed it. I mean really paranoid!!!!!!! The kuffufle that went on to make sure they were all returned and accounted for was amazing. It is only now with hindsight that I understand why he made sure he got them all back.
Most of us were persuaded to go to our first meeting when we were in a very rocky part of our life’s journey. We went because they seemed to have all the answers. We were looking for an answer to the “big question” and trying to do the right thing by the LORD, trying to find a place of belonging and security and trying to save our children from the prophesied conflagration that is supposedly still coming to “punish” the Earth.
We were led slowly and gently away from reality and into the dark, dark place that is the GRC PTY LTD’S version of reality.
Children were never viewed as little people in their own right, but as something that had to broken and moulded.
While our children suffered and still do as a result of us wanting to do the right thing, guilt is not one of the feelings that you should have.
The guilt must be laid squarely where it belongs, on the shoulders of the man responsible for the Doctrines preached in the GRC – Noel Hollins himself.
You are free now Viridian – to make right what has happened by reporting it to the appropriate authority. Nothing will happen, but at least it is another black mark against the destructive ways of the GRC PTY LTD. The more the black marks pile up, the weaker the entire structure will become.
Good luck and God bless. Drop me a line if you like.
Cheers,
Glad
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I have been made aware of a situation in the assembly regarding the treatment of a young child when being chastised by the father. There has been people who have witnessed this and have been concerned and upset by what they have seen.
Because it is within the 4 walls of the assembly it is accepted by some and the concerned others have to accept it.
Is anyone aware of the current legal guidelines of disciplining children?
An incident that happened to me over 10 years ago, when I was in hospital, my baby daughter (only a few months old at the time) was being minded by a sister in the assembly and one day when she brought my baby in the hospital she apologised because her husband had smacked my daughter and left a bruise. when she showed me the bruise, I was sickened by what I saw, she had a very large black bruise down her left thigh and also some bruising to her right thigh. I was told that the husband was trying to give her a bottle of formula and everytime he tried to put the bottle in her mouth she would start screaming, he assumed she was just being rebellious so he kept smacking her………….I found out later that the sister had heated the bottle in the microwave and didn’t check the heat properly, so when my baby started drinking it burnt her mouth and throat. and then so everytime the husband would try to give her the bottle she would start to scream because of the pain and then he would smack her again. I think back now on that incident and wish I had reported him, but back then I was unwell and I was very scared of him. I have learnt from my experiences in that place and I am now a stronger person for leaving that place.
Children are a gift from God and we should be grateful that we have been given the responsibility to raise them in the way that the Lord expects us to NOT in the heavyhanded way that is taught in the assembly.
